How Running Backwards Changed My Life
All photos by Zachary Schwartz
Editor’s note: Mahbod Moghadam is the cofounder of Genius and Everipedia.
The only time I ever ran for exercise was when I lived in Paris—gyms there cost like a million euros a month!—and it completely ruined my knees. I used to think this was because I was genetically inferior. Since both of my parents are Iranian Jews, I blamed my monocultural inbred heritage for my knee problems.
That was in 2006; I didn’t run again for 14 years. Instead, I became a gym rat. Fitness is my greatest passion—I exercise 2 hours every day. Working out is the only time when I can hit the vape and feel like it was a good decision. Furthermore, it is the only way I can truly connect with music. I have Asperger’s, so even though I love music—I founded Genius, the biggest lyrics website in the world—I find it extremely difficult to focus on listening unless I time my motions (or—if it is uptempo dance music—my heartbeat!) to the rhythm.
I had brain surgery a year-and-a-half ago and then a grand mal epileptic seizure 6 months ago. I feel like if I don’t exercise religiously, I’ll have another seizure. Maybe I’m being anxious, but it keeps me motivated to stay fit.
I am a bicoastal baller. When the quarantine started in March, I was living in my Los Angeles apartment. But after they shut down the nearby 24 Hour Fitness, I immediately booked my ticket to NYC because my apartment there has its own gym. I can’t live one day without the gym—I thought spending my quarantine in New York would save me.
Turns out it was a sucker ass move! My apartment gym was closed too. For about a week I was sneaking in—I would go after midnight, when all the other woke liberals in my apartment were asleep so they wouldn’t snitch on me. But then, one night, I made a mistake—I went too soon! At 11:30. The doorman busted me. I went apeshit and said I would refuse to pay rent, but he stared me down and put me in my place.
I started freaking out. What other options were there? I debated buying a Concept2 rowing machine, but it felt wasteful to have a big machine just for myself. I thought I could maybe donate it to the building when the quarantine was over, but they had just cucked me with the gym, so I didn’t feel generous at all. Also, I didn’t want to assemble it.
I decided to start running. I figured if Forrest Gump did it, maybe it wasn’t so bad. I was vegan during my time in Paris, so I thought that perhaps my protein deficiency had messed up my knees. I was willing to give it another try.
But first, I found a hotel in Colorado that had their gym open. The Colorado Springs City Council had a long debate, the concierge told me over the phone, and decided that hotel gyms could stay open even though public gyms were closed. I figured if my knees started to get sore from running, I would go to Colorado.
The Weeknd’s new album After Hours had come out the same day I got busted for sneaking into my gym. The first night I went for a run (I can’t run in the day because the sun will give me a seizure), I listened to it.
About 30 minutes into the album is the song “Blinding Lights.” It is only 3 minutes long but it has a very emotional 80s vibe. When it came on, I started sprinting and twirling. I began to dance! In the chorus, The Weeknd sings the lyrics “The city’s cold and empty, no one’s around to judge me…” I felt like The Weeknd was challenging me to be different and to turn my run into a dance.
My “Blinding Lights” dance is what led to my major Corona Breakthrough: the realization that running backwards will save my knees. Every time I twirled to the beat, I spent a few seconds running backwards. I noticed that my backwards sprint didn’t hurt my knees no matter how fast I went.
Over the past 6 weeks, I turned running backwards into a routine. I am writing this article to get everyone else to try it too. I go to Domino Park in Williamsburg and take my shirt off. I run forwards from the north side of the park to the south side of the park, then I run backwards all the way back. Sometimes I throw some dancelike twirls in there too, but my run is pretty much half backwards.
At first I was afraid of tripping, but now I feel as comfortable running backwards as forward. When I get into a routine and start doing a hard backwards sprint, I feel like I’m Michael Jackson Moonwalker.
I look backwards the entire time I’m running—I don’t simply rely on providence, I am careful. Every 30 seconds I alternate my neck from left to right, so running backwards is actually a great neck exercise as well. Some nights, when I want to go extra hard, I take two 1.5L water bottles and use those as weights. I hold a bottle in each hand and flap my arms like a bird.
I get a lot of weird looks in the park. People are beginning to judge me! It feels like the “Dystopian Remix” of Blinding Lights.
Sometimes people film me on their phone, and I hope they post it and it goes viral on the internet, because I want to spread the gospel of running backwards. Also I’m curious to watch my form, but I’m too timid to ask the onlookers to send me the video.
In high school I was on the swim team, and I’ve always regretted it—the chlorine ruined my hair and skin, and my posture got fucked up. I got back into swimming when I was living in a condo with a pool, and I realized that my big mistake in high school was not doing backstroke! It would have fixed my posture. I eventually stopped swimming again because of the chlorine; also I had to sell the condo because it was too fancy. But the “backstroke discovery” stuck with me.
Running backwards is like the “Backstroke of Running!” If you’re going to run forward, you should also run backwards. I am 37 years old but I am still learning new stuff every year. At age 36 I quit caffeine and I’ve spent the past year trying to convince others that it is poison and they should quit too.
Now, this year, I want to start preaching the backwards run. I’ve noticed that rich people seem to prefer running outdoors to gyms. I hate the rich, but I still want to save their knees.
Also, I no longer blame my weak genetics for my knee problems—it seems like everyone who runs has bad knees. I recently read an article about Tiger Woods—the most genetically gifted man alive—saying running destroyed his knees and his career. I’m hoping that this article goes viral—or maybe someone tapes me doing my weird dance at the park and it goes viral—or both!—and I can save the next Tiger from athletic devastation. I want to start an exercise fad.
I live in Williamsburg and I’m bored. If you want to make fun of me—go ahead, mock me! Join the Hasidic teenagers in the park, they ridicule me the most. I don’t mind! It thickens my skin...
But if you want to try running backwards, DM me on my Instagram and come join me! I go every night. We will do the “Blinding Lights” dance together—that’s the exciting part. My second favorite song on The Weeknd’s album is “Snow Child.” It always makes me emotional, so we can dance to that song too. You can even DJ if you want!
Everything happens for a reason. At first I thought coronavirus was God’s way of telling me to move to Colorado. I thought my knees would fail after a week, that I would fly to Colorado Springs for the magical hotel, meet a Coloradan, fall in love, marry, and raise my children in the mountains.
But in fact, God made coronavirus to teach me how to run backwards, and to spread this message to the world. Add the fact that coronavirus is making Bitcon’s price explode and I have to say I am “GRATEFUL FOR THE RONA!” Everything that happens in this universe has a purpose. I believe we have a benevolent God. But He works in strange ways—just like I do a strange exercise.
Follow Mahbod Moghadam on Instagram.
