Blue Wizard Advice Column #2: Holy War
Due to popular demand as well as the turmoil in the modern world, we’ve asked the Blue Wizard of Countere to write another advice column. This is no easy feat—he only accepts mail via pigeon, and insists each letter is sent with a healthy bundle of pipe-weed. This time, his responses arrived on parchment tinged with the odor of gasoline and rosemary…Anyways, if you want to ask our dear Blue Wizard a question, use this form.—John Flowers, Editor-in-Chief
Will God punish me for cheating on my wife? —Bob
Evil is its own consequence. Marriage is a tree which, when nourished properly, delivers fruit every season. It is a worthwhile endeavor and an engine for self-transformation—not to mention the safest dwelling in which to rear children.
Should you break your wedding vows, you will not be struck down by lightning nor be turned into a pillar of salt. Your wife might never even find out. But in the spiritual realm, something important has snapped. Perhaps you find yourself no longer able to look her in the eye during intimate moments. Maybe, realizing how easy it was for you to get away with infidelity, you become consumed by jealousy.
Cheating introduces deception into what is supposed to be your most intimate and sacred union. God does not take kindly to the breaking of vows, this much every society has known, but so much of the punishment in this world comes from ourselves. Only time will tell if God will punish you for cheating—but your punishment has already been self-inflicted.
If push comes to shove and nuclear war happens, which stocks are best to invest in? —Jonathan
You ask me what stocks to invest in, when the world is reduced to nuclear rubble? My friend, the stock market will not avail you in such moments. These are the stocks you should invest in: stocks of guns and ammunition; stocks of food, water, and fuel; livestock.
My dear blue wizard friend, what are the ideal atmospheres for giving birth? Should we go to the ocean with dolphins by our side? Should we go to the "hospital"? Should we go to the closest woodlands? How should we Counterean duchesses plan a more conscious, nourishing, and natural birth? How should we RETVRN to the light? —daisy
My dear rabbit-like friend,
We live in a time where we are far removed from the wisdom of our ancestors. Seek elder support and guidance from those who have been called to birth work as their life’s purpose: doulas, midwives, elders. Listen to yourself, and those with much experience, not propaganda on the internet. Everyone has an opinion on how you should birth your child, but it is important to trust the wisdom of your body. If you are called to free birth, then free birth. If you feel more safe in a controlled, hospital setting—then trust that. Birth is raw and vulnerable. It is a portal. Safety and support from others are key.
My dear blue wizard friend, what are some ways to add more nature into our home? So far, I got some wicker baskets and indoor herb gardens for the feminine gathering urge. What are the next steps? —Daisy
Let me consult my orb, ah, yes…I see in your future natural furnishings, real wood, organic cotton towels and sheets, antiques & second hand decor, seasonal decor, botanical & landscape art, non-fluorescent light bulbs, naturally scented (non-fragrance) candles, colors found in nature, plants, fresh flowers, and salt lamps. Oh, and keep your windows open as much as possible!
I've had this problem all my life where I have plenty of dreams and aspirations, but I was never able to bring myself to act on them. Obviously practice makes perfect, but I've always been discouraged by seeing the end goal and what it takes to get there. How can I overcome this? —Travis
What goal are you trying to accomplish? Realize the steps you need to do today: whether it’s 30 minutes of dedicated practice or training, someone you need to write to, etc…Director Peter Jackson, who filmed the Lord of the Rings documentary, said that every project of his can be reduced to a checklist of actions. Rather than buckling under the weight of a gargantuan film trilogy that cost hundreds of millions of dollars and employed a sizable percentage of New Zealand, he woke up, figured out what needed to be done that day, and did it.
Live in the moment! Do not pay attention to what you need to do tomorrow, or what you failed to do in the past. Take it one step at a time. Worry about having a productive day today. Accomplish what you need to do today. This is the path to completion.
I find myself troubled by the current machinations in the Middle East. Thoughts on the Israel-Hamas War? —Piggy wiggy
Only a fool jumps into a conflict he knows nothing about. I’ve lived many years on this dome: I’ve seen the Israelites fight the Philistines, I’ve seen the Babylonians sack Jerusalem, I’ve even seen the Crusaders claim the Holy Land for Christendom.
Make no mistake, this is a holy war. Hamas wishes for the destruction of not only Jews but Christians as well. Fringe zealots in Israeli society wish to build the Third Temple on the same hill as the Dome of the Rock. A reasonable man wishes for peace, condemns terrorists, and sympathizes with the grieving. A religious man picks his side and readies himself for war.
What doth the wizard think of the afterlife? —Cyclops
I’ve seen the afterlife myself, my friend. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass…and then you see it. White shores…and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.
Death is just another path—one that we all must take.
Autistic video game hobby (Paradox strategy games, RTS, milsim), based or cringe? Also, is it worth being part of society e.g. getting a job in a large company instead of going nomad indie hobo? —Usted Susan Takingcareofthebusiness
These hobbies are based, in moderation. While you might find a passing familiarity with autistic games like Warhammer 40K or Paradox video games is actually intriguing to members of the opposite sex, as well as a source of great life enjoyment, going overboard in these arenas will doom your stature among both men and women. It is important not to devote too much mental energy to play.
Why do you only choose two options in dealing with society? The way isn’t only between a job at a large company and the “nomad indie hobo” route. What is most important is that your work is fulfilling and earns enough for you to live your preferred lifestyle. There is no shame in joining a giant team or company if you believe in their mission. In fact, many recommend this path for young people, before they leave to go on a more independent route. Even if you do decide to go the path of the “nomad indie hobo,” you will still need frens and allies. In that case, I suggest joining the Countere Discord.
What’s the verdict on Phish? —Hauntology Fan
A decent band that has been around for a very long time. I, however, sense some cringe in its fanbase…
How come my husband doesn't listen to me when I tell him something, but then when someone else tells him the same thing he listens to them? —Lo Gee
In general, people only take advice from people whose lives they respect and want. Not to say your husband doesn’t respect you, but he doesn’t want your lifestyle, given that he is a man and you are a woman—and there is no way, in his mind, that you can serve as an authority on how to live a good life as a man.
One thing you can do to overcome this is to incept his brain: to deliver him a message you want him to hear, using a man he respects. This is the method used by women going back to the ancient palaces of Egypt. Find the message you want to give him and find a respectable man (athlete, entertainer, entrepreneur, former NAVY seal) who your husband thinks is successful. If it goes right, a few days later, you should see him parroting the message, as if he came up with it himself.
Good luck, friend!
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